Виртуальная песочница (тм)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Things that are annoying

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
3. Repeatedly specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions.
7. Reply to everything that someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room...
every 10 minutes or so.
14. Holler random numbers across the room while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist that you
like it that way.
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints by
the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
21. type only in lower case.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on
the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it
up", and repeat the whole thing.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write, 'for sensual massage'.
30. Stamp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and after each reading ask why the poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a
notebook. Mutter something about 'psychological profiles'.
33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
34. Send this list to everyone in your e-mail address book even if they sent it to you
or ask you not to send things like this!

No comments: