По традиции первой программой, которую пишет программист на новом для него языке программирования, является "Hello, World!" И уже потом программист пишет свой текстовый редактор, свой файловый менеджер, свой "Тетрис". Некоторые увлекаются и пишут свой компилятор и свою операционную систему. Read more...
| Drug dealers | Software developers |
|---|---|
| Refer to their clients as "users". | Refer to their clients as "users". |
| "The first one's free!" | "Download a free trial version..." |
| Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). | Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). |
| Strange jargon: "Stick," "Rock," "Dime bag," "E". | Strange jargon: "SCSI," "RTFM," "Java," "ISDN". |
| Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market. | Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market. |
| Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent mixes. | Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines. |
| Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. | Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. |
| Their product causes unhealthy addictions. | DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem3D. 'Nuff said.' |
| Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. | Oh well... |
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try
to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10.There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage.
Read more...
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
3. Repeatedly specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions.
7. Reply to everything that someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room...
every 10 minutes or so.
14. Holler random numbers across the room while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist that you
like it that way.
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints by
the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
21. type only in lower case.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on
the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it
up", and repeat the whole thing.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write, 'for sensual massage'.
30. Stamp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and after each reading ask why the poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a
notebook. Mutter something about 'psychological profiles'.
33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
34. Send this list to everyone in your e-mail address book even if they sent it to you
or ask you not to send things like this!
Read more...
SELECT
column_name
, data_type +
COALESCE(
'(' + CAST(character_maximum_length AS VARCHAR) + ')'
, '(' + CAST(numeric_precision AS VARCHAR) + ')'
, ''
)
, column_default
, is_nullable
FROM
information_schema.columns
WHERE
table_name = 'tablename';
